Harold Finch's Guide to Having Fun in the Sun
by Aingeal98
Summary: AU. In which Harold Finch realizes that there is more to summer then letting his children spend all day at the shooting range and attempts a family-bonding holiday. Naturally, it is a disaster.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I love Team Machine and family AUs, so this happened.**

* * *

 **The Announcement**

"By the way, I've booked us a family holiday. We leave tomorrow."

Reese paused, trying to comprehend what Finch had just said. Had he misheard? He must have.

"What?"

Finch gave him that look that always made him feel especially stupid. Normally that look was reserved for whenever John tried to ask him about computers and coding.

"I said I've booked us a holiday. It's in a nice small seaside town called Courtown. We leave tomorrow morning and we stay for a week."

"Just you and me?" Reese asked hopefully. He wouldn't mind that. College had kept him busy recently, and he hadn't had much time this summer to bond with Finch.

"Of course not. I'm not leaving Sameen and Bear here unsupervised. The house would burn down within two days."

Reese tried to imagine leaving his ten-year old foster sister behind. Alone. In the house. With his grenades.

He could see Finch's point.

"Fine. But Root stays behind, right?"

Finch's mouth curled with distaste, and Reese knew he wouldn't like Finch's answer.

"Unfortunately, I feel it would be unwise to leave Miss Groves here unsupervised as well. For a girl of eleven she has proven quite proficient at breaking and entering into our house whenever she pleases. I feel like leaving her behind would offend her, despite the fact that she is not legally under my care."

Reese still remembered the day Root had shown up at their house, claiming to be a big fan of Finch's work and waving forged adoption papers (Reese still had no idea how she could fake Finch's signature so convincingly) at them. They had closed the door on her and told her to go home, and a week later they opened the front door and found her sitting at their kitchen table tapping away at one of Finch's laptops.

Six failed attempts to contact Root's parents and send her away, and Finch had given up, allowing her to stay with them. At first Reese was worried that Finch would get arrested for kidnapping, but when no one showed up to demand their child back, he'd reluctantly accepted that Root was here to stay.

But taking her with them on vacation? That was a step too far.

"I'm not going." he said. Finch gave him a disappointed look. "I'm not! Not with both of them! Shaw will stab Root within a day of having to share a car with her, and I don't want to have to help her hide the body."

"Don't be so dramatic." Finch said, rolling his eyes. "If you really can't stand the idea of it being the four of us, why don't you invite your friends?"

That offer made Reese pause.

"You mean Carter and Lionel? They can come with us?"

"If you can convince them, then yes they can come. They are the ones that are most aware of how… unique your family situation is."

"If by that you mean that meeting you, Shaw and Root somehow didn't scare them off then yes, they are the best candidates for this trip." Reese considered Finch's proposal. "Fine, I'll talk to them, and if they say yes I'll go too."

"I'm sure they'll be delighted to get a break from the city."

* * *

 **Convincing the Friends**

"Hell no!" Carter said. "You think I want to spend a week alone with your crazy-ass family?"

"Carter-"

"Look, I get it. I love them, but Shaw and Root can be a handful. Right now, that's your problem! I've just done my first year of college; this is supposed to be my downtime!"

"We're going on vacation. It'll be relaxing." Reese tried.

Carter gave him a look that clearly said she wasn't buying his bullshit.

"Please Carter." She remained impassive. " _Joss,_ please!"

She cracked. Just a little, but Reese saw it.

"If I get Lionel to go, will you come?"

She sighed, glared at him, and then she shrugged.

"Fine."

Reese smiled.

* * *

Fusco snorted.

"A week alone with you, Glasses, the brat and Cuckoo Clock? Sounds like a real good time."

"Carter's going too." Reese said. "Plus, Finch will pay for everything. You can probably spend the week relaxing and getting some sun, and if things get intense just ignore us and play with Bear."

Fusco huffed and seemed to think it over. He turned and eyed Reese suspiciously.

"You sure Carter said she was going?"

Reese nodded.

"I spoke to her before coming here. She's on board."

"Alright then, I guess I'm coming too." Fusco muttered reluctantly. "Now get out of here, I have work to finish."

Reese left the building, a smirk on his face. He had a phone call to make to Carter.

* * *

 **The Journey There**

Eleven a.m. the next morning, they all piled into Finch's minivan. John cast a longing look at the garage, where he knew the Porsche would spend all week gathering dust. God he wished this could be like the old trips, back when he was still Finch's ward and it was just the two of them. He'd asked Finch if they could ride in two separate cars, but Finch and frowned and insisted that riding together was all part of the bonding experience. Reese just wanted to get through the bonding experience with all his limbs attached.

Fusco had called shotgun the second he'd arrived, leaving John, Root and Carter in the middle and Shaw and Bear in the back with the rest of the bags. Shaw seemed content surrounded by luggage, probably because she got to talk to Bear and pet him through the dog cage.

The middle row was not as pleasant. Root sat in the center, tapping away on her phone with a serene smile on her face. Carter and Reese both sat next to her, warily watching the girl type. Reese wondered if Root could feel the tension radiating off him. Of course she did, he realized. That was probably why she was so happy.

He looked up and his eyes met Carter's. He gave her a weak smile and she rolled her eyes.

His next smile was genuine. Thank God she was here. He didn't want to think of what the journey would have been like if it had been him, Root and Shaw all sitting together. He kept a close eye on Root for the first hour of the journey, but he also managed to relax and chat with both Carter and Fusco. After the first hour of driving Finch and Fusco swapped places and Reese relaxed a little, knowing that Finch could also keep an eye on Root now.

After about two hours of driving Reese felt something kicking the back of his seat.

"I'm bored." Shaw announced from the back. "Are we there yet?"

"No, but we will be in an hour."

Shaw sighed at that, and kicked Reese's seat again. He considered pushing the seat backwards and trying to squash her, but it was too early in the trip to be considering violence. He'd save that for when they arrived.

Ten minutes later and Shaw spoke up again. There was a tinge of panic in her voice.

"Finch, stop the car. I think Bear's getting carsick."

Fusco pulled off the highway, but it was too late. The stench hit Reese's nose and he opened the door to let some fresh air in. He felt small hands tugging at his seat as Shaw climbed over him and out of the car, kicking him in the face as she went. Something bumped against his seat and he realized that Shaw had let Bear out of his cage.

Finch stepped out of the car and walked around to the back, his limp more pronounced after hours cramped in the car. He opened the hatch and pulled Bear's cage out, grimacing at the smell. Bear leaped out, prancing around the car excitedly.

"He thinks we're here." Carter laughed.

"I wish he was right." Reese muttered.

They used wet-wipes and kitchen roll to clean the cage, and they took turns spraying the car with deodorant. Even after they got Bear settled in, the car still smelled of sick dog.

They drove the rest of the way with the windows down. Shaw complained viciously about the smell and tried to get everyone to swap with her. Reese seriously considered jumping into the back and strangling her, but every time he decided that he'd had enough, Finch or Carter would shoot him a look and he'd slump back into his seat.

Just as he had decided that he'd be okay with being the family disappointment if it would get Shaw to stop kicking his damn seat. The car stopped.

"We're here." Finch said. The _Thank goodness_ went unspoken, but they all felt it.

Sorting out who got what room was surprisingly simple. Finch had booked five rooms, which meant they all got their own room apart from Root and Shaw, who had to share a room with twin beds. Reese braced himself for Shaw to kick up a fuss, but she simply rolled her eyes, clearly too tired from the journey to argue. Root, on the other hand, looked ecstatic. Thankfully, she didn't say anything about it to Shaw, who carried both her and Root's luggage up to the room, grumbling as she went.

Reese enjoyed the look on the doorman's face as this tiny child stomped into his hotel, carrying bags that were twice her size and looked just as heavy as she was. Root followed, flashing the doorman a cheery smile. The rest of them carried their luggage inside like normal people.

The room was decent, and as John dumped his bags on the bed he allowed himself a second to hope that this holiday wouldn't be a complete disaster.

A loud crash from the next room made him close his eyes and throw himself onto the bed.

Finch could deal with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yeah, this is basically just cracky fluff.**

* * *

 **Golf**

The first activity Finch had booked for them was golf. Carter was skeptical. To her, golf was a sport rich white men played while striking business deals. But seeing as Finch was an extremely rich white guy, it made sense that golf would be his idea of a fun time.

It wasn't actually that bad. Finch paid for a golf cart so that he could move from hole to hole with ease, and tapped each ball in like he'd been playing golf his entire life. Reese and Fusco kept trying to prove that they were the superior golf player.

"Your aim is all off Wonderboy. Let me show you how it's done."

"That was a great shot Lionel, but the thing is; I wasn't aiming for that tree."

"Yeah, yeah, you bumped my shoulder alright? Next time it'll be a hole in one."

Carter rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh as she tapped her own ball into the hole. Reese caught her eye and grinned, before 'accidentally' hitting Lionel in the ass with his golf club.

"Oh that's real mature Sunshine! You jealous just because I'm better than you at something for once?"

"You probably are better than me at something Lionel, but it's not golf."

Carter turned around to check on the two youngest members, who were lagging behind. It seemed like a fight was brewing.

"Root!" Shaw snarled "I saw that! Stop hitting the ball with your foot. Do you have to fucking cheat at everything?"

The other players who were nearby turned and stared, and Carter quickly walked over to try and calm things down. Root smirked, never breaking eye contact with Shaw as she slowly pushed her ball into the hole with her foot.

Carter arrived just in time to catch the golf club Shaw swung at Root. If the other players weren't staring before, they sure were now. One guy shook his head, while a young child stared in fascination at the three of them.

"Ok, how about I keep the score from now on?" she said, glaring at Root. Root scowled, but reluctantly handed over the scorecard.

"That was a hole in one, by the way." Root said.

"You're so full of shit." Shaw said. "Why did you even come?"

Root smiled sarcastically and then she kicked Shaw's ball.

"Fucking hell Root!" Shaw snapped, loud enough to make Carter cringe.

"You know what? Let's move on to the next hole." she said, trying to push them away from the disapproving stares. Why had she let Reese talk her into this?

They played two more holes, with Root doing her best to cheat while convincing Carter she wasn't. Shaw eventually lost her patience and took another swing at Root with the golf club. Root ducked, and the club went flying out of Shaw's hands, whacking into the face of a young boy who was walking by.

Five minutes later, Finch was glaring sternly at Shaw, while the manager insisted that they all leave now before someone pressed charges.

"Root started it." was all Shaw would say. "Besides, that kid was dumb enough to walk across the golf course when he knew we were playing. He had it coming."

Carter had a feeling the boy's parents wouldn't see it that way, but Finch merely sighed and shook his head.

"Try not to send anyone else to the hospital today." he said.

Shaw scowled as Finch walked away, and Carter reached over to ruffle her hair.

"How about some ice-cream?" she suggested.

Shaw's face brightened, although she didn't actually smile.

"I guess that'd be cool." she muttered.

They left the hotel, carefully avoiding the crying child and his furious parents.

"Wimp." Shaw muttered.

* * *

 **The Beach**

Harold Finch had absolutely zero interest in beaches. The sun irritated him, the sand got everywhere, and it was always filled with noisy children splashing in the water. However, going to the beach was a classic family outing, and Finch was determined to give his abnormal children a normal holiday.

He sat on a chair under the shade of an umbrella, and wished that he'd brought his laptop. Fusco and Bear lay next to him, snoring. Reese and Carter were already in the water, while Root and Shaw messed around with some of the buckets and spades Finch had bought. So far, the bucket hadn't ended up on anyone's head, so this outing was going much better than the golf trip. Plus, he'd planted bugs on all of them, just in case things got out of hand.

A group of three girls ran up to Root and Shaw, and Finch tensed. Root flashed them one of her falsely cheerful smiles, and one of them gave a genuine smile back.

"Hi," one of the girls said. She was tall and freckled with red hair, and looked around Root's age to Finch. "We were wondering if you wanted to play with us. We're trying to build a giant castle, and we need all the help we can get."

Root beamed up at them, and although her smile was faked she didn't seem annoyed.

"We'd love to help, wouldn't we Sameen?"

"Nah," Shaw muttered, standing up and walking over to Finch. Root didn't seem deterred, and continued to chat with the other girls. Finch frowned at Shaw, who rolled her eyes.

"What?" she said. "I don't care about their dumb castle, and I'm not interested in pretending to like them."

"If you would just give them a chance like Miss Groves is doing, then perhaps they may surprise you."

Shaw stared at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Seriously? You want me to be more like _Root_?"

"Only in this specific situation, but yes."

Something shifted behind Shaw's eyes, and Finch suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine. She gave him a smile that was terrifyingly sweet and definitely not sincere. Finch could count the number of times Shaw had given him a genuine smile on one hand, and he suddenly feared for the unsuspecting children who just wanted to build a sandcastle.

"Fine." Shaw said, "I'll go be nice to people and have fun! Watch me socialize like I actually care."

She turned and skipped back to where Root and the girls were building a castle. Finch started to panic, realizing that if anything went wrong it would be up to him to step in. Fusco was fast asleep, and Reese and Carter were still swimming.

To his relief, nothing bad happened immediately. The girls were happy to have Shaw's help, and she busied herself digging a moat. Finch tried to subtly shift his chair nearer, so that he could overhear what they were saying.

It wasn't paranoia if your child was a legitimate sociopath.

"This is so fun!" Shaw gushed. Root smirked, clearly enjoying the show Shaw was putting on. "But you know what I haven't done yet this summer? Go cliff diving from those cliffs over there."

The girls turned to look at the cliffs. They weren't that tall, but in Finch's opinion they were too tall for ten year old children to be jumping off.

"Really?" the redhead asked. "You go jumping from _there?_ Is it safe?"

"Of course it is." Shaw giggled. "I've been jumping off it every year since I was seven. It just looks scary from here." There was an uneasy silence. "What, don't tell me you've never been cliff diving?"

"Of course we have." one of the girls said defensively.

"Great! Then let's go." Shaw stood, dragging Root with her. Root cast a panicked look at Finch, who was struggling to get out of the seat. The sand was uneven and didn't provide good support, so it took him a few tries to manage it.

By the time he stood up, the girls were already halfway there. Finch knew he didn't have a chance of catching them, so he leaned over and shook Lionel awake.

"Huh?" the man muttered sleepily. "Glasses? What's going on?"

"Sameen and Miss Groves are about to jump off a cliff." he said. "I need you to stop them!"

Fusco pushed himself upwards, noticed where the girls were and took off, stumbling across the sand. Finch followed at a slower pace. By the time he reached the bottom of the cliff the girls were already at the top. Panicked, he rooted around in his pocket for his phone and activated the bug he had placed on Shaw.

"Are you sure this is safe?"

"Trust me. It looks worse than it actually is."

"I'm not sure I want to do this. Maybe I'll just watch."

He heard Shaw sigh, and then to his horror she shoved one of the girls, and the girl went toppling off the cliff.

"Jenna!" the redhead yelled as her friend screamed. Jenna hit the water, and as the redhead turned around Shaw pushed her too.

"Are you insane?" the third girl screamed. Even from below Finch could feel Shaw's eyeroll.

"Look, I just want you guys to do something that's actually fun. So either you jump or I push you. It's your choice."

Finch didn't hear the girl's reply, but a few seconds later she went tumbling off the cliff. The first two girls had emerged, and they looked shaken, but thankfully unharmed. Finch could hear people screaming behind him, as the parents had presumably started to notice what the children were up to.

He heard Root sigh and then she was jumping off the cliff as well. Finch could see that Fusco was nearly at the top, but it was too late. With a whoop Shaw launched herself off the cliff, hitting the water with a loud splash.

The three girls had reached the shore, and were staggering out of the water. Two of them were crying and one of them was limping, but to his relief Finch didn't see any blood.

Root followed them out, smiling sheepishly at Finch.

"Sorry Harry."

"We're leaving." he said stiffly. "Go tell the others to pack up quickly before those girls tell their parents who is responsible for their trauma."

She nodded and left without a parting quip, seeming to understand that Finch was not in a good mood.

Shaw came wading out of the water, a small but genuine grin on her face.

"Now that," she said, "was fun."

"Do you have any idea-" Finch hissed.

"Don't be mad Finch, you were right. I gave them a chance, channeled my inner Root, and I actually had a good time." She patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "I think this has been a learning experience for all of us."

He turned around to continue scolding her, and came face to face with a very angry mother holding her teary-eyed daughter.

 _Oh dear,_ he thought, _this definitely looks like a lawsuit._

* * *

 **Woodland Walks**

The next day, while Root and Shaw were stuck in the hotel with a still furious Finch, the other three took Bear for a walk.

"Do you think he'll ever let them out of the hotel again?" Carter asked, a small grin on her face. Fusco could relate. Reese's family was insane, but once you accepted that they would probably all end up in jail one day, you learnt to enjoy the craziness and let Finch worry about the collateral damage.

"Probably." Reese replied. "He's still under the delusion that this will somehow be a nice, peaceful holiday."

Fusco snorted.

"After everything that's happened, he still thinks the kids can behave themselves?"

"To be honest, Shaw's normally alright." Reese said. "That stunt at the beach today was something I'd imagine Root doing, not her. One of the kids must have really pissed her off for her to do something that extreme."

"Actually, I think it was Finch." Carter said. "They were arguing about it when we got back. Apparently he insisted that she socialize, and that was her revenge."

"Harsh." Fusco grunted. "Remind me to stay away from her and Nutella."

"Don't worry Lionel, they like you. I think your fear amuses them."

He rolled his eyes and reached down to scratch Bear's head. The three of them walked in companionable silence while Bear ran on ahead.

"You know, even though the second we get back to the hotel we'll get sucked into Hurricane Shoot, I'm still glad I came."

"Me too." Carter said. "I'm glad you said you'd come Fusco, otherwise I would have said no."

He frowned.

"Wait what? Mr. Broody over here told me that you were already coming."

Carter looked puzzled.

"But I specifically told John that I'd only come if you did-wait." She turned and glared at Reese. "Did you trick us into coming?"

Reese attempted a smile.

"Can we get back to that whole part about how happy you are to be here?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm still writing this. I don't know why, but I am. Thanks for the reviews. Also, I know a lot of high school AUs have the gang be closer in age, but I decided to go with the canon age gaps in this. So Carter is 18 and Reese is 21. Fusco's a little older than Reese, and Finch is around 35.**

* * *

 **Horse Riding**

To be honest, Shaw expected Finch to keep them locked up longer, but it only took twenty four hours before he caved.

"I booked us all horse riding lessons," he said. "It cost a good bit of money, so I'm not going to cancel it despite yesterday's incident. However, if anything resembling that fiasco happens, I will drive us all back to New York and keep you inside the house for the rest of the summer."

Shaw shared a smirk with Root at the idea of Finch trying to keep them locked up. He looked pretty serious though, so she decided not to comment.

To be honest, horse riding sounded alright to her. She'd rather practice her driving skills, but she had a feeling that Finch would only let her on go-carts.

It wasn't like being stuck in the hotel was so bad. She had food, TV and a mini-bar (Finch didn't know about the last one, and she'd only taken a few sips before she'd decided it tasted like shit, so it wasn't a big deal). She was starting to get a bit restless though, and Root constantly tapping on her computer didn't help.

So she agreed to go horse riding. Hopefully it wouldn't be boring, but she wasn't expecting it to be entertaining either.

What she hadn't realized, was that Root was really, _really_ bad with horses.

"I thought you were born in Texas?" Shaw said, watching Root's sixth attempt to get on her horse. "Shouldn't horse-riding be in your blood?"

"I'm a hacker Sameen, not a cowboy." Root huffed.

John rode over on his horse, smirking at Root. He and Shaw grinned as Root failed to swing her leg over the horse and slipped back onto the ground.

"Need some help there Root?"

Root turned around and gave Shaw a sweet smile.

"Didn't know you cared, Shaw."

Shaw's grin vanished. _Damn it._

Reese smirked and rode off, leaving Shaw scowling. Root tried another attempt to get on the horse, and when she failed Shaw rolled her eyes and walked over.

"I'll give you a boost." she sighed.

Root beamed at her, and Shaw's frown deepened.

"People are staring." she said defensively. "It's embarrassing for all of us."

"Whatever you say, Sameen."

Shaw rolled her eyes again and grabbed Root's leg, forcing her upwards. Root's eyes widened in panic and she scrabbled desperately for purchase on the horse, who neighed indignantly. After a few more seconds of struggling, Root was on the horse. She looked like she'd rather be anywhere else.

Really, horse riding was much more fun than Shaw thought it would be.

She got on her own horse with ease, just as Finch walked up. He was the only one who wasn't riding; Reese, Carter and Fusco were all on horses.

"Any problems with the horses?" he asked.

"None at all." Shaw said, just as Root's horse pawed the ground. Root looked terrified as it took a few steps forward.

"It's moving. Should it be moving? Harold, are you sure this horse isn't defective? Oh god, it's trying to shake me off!"

"Like I said," Shaw said. "No problems here."

Finch looked worried, but gave Root a faint smile.

"Best of luck." was all he said. Then he turned and left.

"Damn it Harry, I'm going to die!"

"Relax," Shaw said, not bothering to hide her amusement. "You're not going to die. These horses are all boring and tame. They probably never get the chance to gallop or jump."

Root looked alarmed.

"We're galloping today? I thought Harold told them we were beginners."

"Would you calm down? We're only walking, maybe a small trot if we're up for it."

"I'm not up for it." Root said immediately.

"I can see that." Shaw smirked.

Root was about to make a snarky comeback, but then her horse moved again and she was too busy being terrified.

Shaw grinned, and hoped Finch had brought his camera.

* * *

 **Shopping**

The horse-riding had gone surprisingly well. Carter had expected some kind of disaster to occur, but the three usual suspects had behaved themselves. Root had been too scared of her horse to cause trouble, and Reese and Shaw had been too amused by Root's fear to get in any trouble.

Fusco and Carter had stuck together, discussing how they were going to make John pay for tricking them. Sure, Carter was enjoying herself, but that didn't change the fact that she had been duped into coming.

However, when she got back to the hotel, it soon became clear that they had more pressing concerns.

"Are you out of your mind?" she said, staring incredulously at Finch. "You let John and Shaw go to the store alone? After everything that's happened?"

Finch looked decidedly uncomfortable at being chewed out, but Carter really didn't give a damn. All she wanted was to relax in her hotel room and maybe try out that whirlpool bath. Instead, she was already preparing for the police to arrive at their door.

"I assure you Miss Carter, that despite Sameen's recent behavior she is more than capable of going grocery shopping without causing a riot."

"She's not the one I'm worried about! I've known John for a good while now and he's never been able to stay out of trouble. Tell me you didn't send Root with them too?"

He looked offended at that.

"Of course not, that would be asking for disaster. Besides, Miss Groves was busy trying to delete the photos I took at the stables."

That made Carter pause.

"Was she able to erase them?"

Finch smirked.

"She thinks she was."

"Well thank god you've got some sense, leaving her behind. I'm telling you though, something's probably gone wrong."

"John is a grown man and a responsible one. I have faith in him."

"And I have faith in his ability to get involved in every fight he sees."

The sound of footsteps on the hotel stairs made them both pause. The door swung open and Reese and Shaw stepped in. Reese looked exhausted. Shaw looked exhilarated.

"What happened?" Finch and Carter said automatically.

"We got the stuff Finch." Shaw said. "Milk, tea and some biscuits, they're all here and in one piece."

"However, there was… an incident." Reese added.

Finch closed his eyes, and when he didn't say anything, Carter knew it was up to her.

"What did you do?" she sighed.

"Ok," Shaw started. "So we drove to the store, and outside of it was this gorgeous Lamborghini. I wanted to take it for a spin, but I decided not to, because I knew it would annoy Finch."

Finch raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Carter wondered what such an expensive car was doing in such a small town.

"So then we got inside, and it turns out that some moron was trying to rob the store with a gun. He pointed it at me, so I broke his arm while Reese paid for our stuff."

Reese smiled at that, like he was reliving a good memory.

Carter shook her head. Reese and Shaw were a pair of danger magnets. Lord knows how they'd survived this long.

"But then the keys of the car fell out of his pocket, and I realized that he'd probably stolen the car too. I figured you wouldn't mind me borrowing a car that was already stolen, so I grabbed the keys and got in. When Reese came out I offered him a race and he agreed."

"You didn't 'offer me a race'" Reese interjected. "I walked out and you were already in the driver's seat. All you said was 'Hey John! Race you.' and then you took off."

Shaw frowned and elbowed him in the side. Reese ignored her and continued explaining.

"I knew that the minivan wouldn't be fast enough, so I found a good car and borrowed it to chase after Shaw."

"I think the word you're both looking for is 'stole'." Carter said. "You didn't 'borrow' those cars, you _stole_ them."

"We never planned to keep them, so technically we didn't really steal them, only borrowed without asking."

The joint power of Carter and Finch's glares was enough to make Shaw get back to the story.

"So I took the car for a spin around town, while John and his pathetic Mazda tried to keep up. Obviously I didn't stay within the speed limit, but no one got seriously hurt. I think I might have clipped the kid from the golf club though. It's fine, he didn't see me."

Finch looked like he wanted to forget everything he had just heard.

"Eventually, the police copped on and tried to catch me. Reese cut them off before they could and we got away. No one got hurt, the cars have been dumped and we didn't leave any evidence behind. We got away clean, I promise."

"If you're so certain you weren't detected," Finch said "then why bother telling me at all?"

"There's a chance we could end up on the news." Reese replied. "We thought it best if we explained ourselves before you jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"Is there a right conclusion?" Finch asked. "Because you know the rule: If your escapades end up on television then we have to have a serious conversation about them."

"It won't end up on TV." John assured him.

"Probably." Shaw added.

"Maybe."

"There's a chance it won't."

"A small one."

"Oh look, Bear's calling me."

"Me too, I'll go play with him now."

They quickly backed out into the hall, leaving Finch frowning sternly at the closed door.

"Wow," Carter said. "You were right Finch, I see that now. Those two can definitely handle daily responsibilities. What's next? Do you think we should send them out to the post office?"

"You've made your point, Miss Carter." Finch muttered.

* * *

 **Fishing**

"So how are we gonna do this?" Fusco asked. "We got two boats and six people."

"Root and Shaw go on separate boats." Finch said immediately. "Also, Miss Carter and I will go on separate boats, so that each boat has at least one responsible person on it."

Fusco looked indignant at not being included among the responsible people, while Reese just shrugged like he thought Finch's verdict was fair.

In the end, Shaw ended up in a rowboat with Reese and Carter. She rowed them out onto the sea, glaring at Reese when he tried to grab an oar. Carter looked like she wanted to help, but she was clearly too tired. Finch had woken them all up at the crack of dawn to go fishing.

Fucking _fishing._

It wasn't like Shaw needed much sleep, but she preferred to be woken up for a good reason. To her, fishing was not a good enough reason. Waiting ages for a stupid fish to bite was not Shaw's idea of a morning well-spent.

To make it even worse, Reese and Carter weren't talking to each other. Normally, Shaw would appreciate the silence, but she was stuck on a boat with these two for the next few hours and the awkward silence was starting to irritate her. Normally Reese would be trying to impress Carter, which Shaw thought was dumb because in her opinion Reese wasn't impressive in the slightest. But even that would have been better than this weird tension between them.

"Am I missing something?" she snapped eventually. "What the fuck is going on between you two?"

Carter jumped a little and glanced at Reese. Reese continued to stare into the water, despite the fact that he hadn't caught a single fish yet.

"Reese tricked me and Fusco into coming along," Carter said at last "and I'm pretty angry at him because of it."

Shaw turned around to smirk at Reese, who was still ignoring them.

"Oh he did, did he?" she grinned. "And I'm guessing you want some payback?"

"What do you suggest?" Carter asked. Shaw could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Well I _could_ push him overboard." John snorted at that. "Or I can send you a copy of all the sexts he's ever sent to Zoe Morgan."

Reese's head shot up and he stared at Shaw in alarm. She grinned evilly back.

"How do you have those?" he asked hoarsely.

She rolled her eyes.

"Don't act like you haven't bugged my phone almost as good as I've bugged yours."

"Oh, now this sounds good." Carter said, a grin on her face.

"How about I put them on Facebook right now? Trust me, they're hilarious. John here may be quiet in public, but he texts like the white boy he truly is."

Shaw pulled her phone out and Reese stood up. The boat rocked heavily to the side and they all reached out to steady it.

"Ok, let's all calm down." Carter said, clutching the edge of the boat tightly. "Shaw, how about you send me a copy of those texts, and maybe next time John will think twice about lying to me."

"Deal." Shaw smirked.

"Finch should have left you at home." Reese grumbled. "You're as annoying as Root sometimes."

Shaw snorted.

"Are you trying to make me feel bad? You know I don't do guilt."

Reese frowned and reached over, grabbing an oar. She tried to grab it back and soon they were engaged of their version of a slap-fight. It involved a lot of mixed martial arts and very few actual slaps.

She aimed a punch at his face and he threw himself to the side. She lunged at him, and the whole boat swayed alarmingly.

"Guys, knock it off! The boat is going to-"

Carter let out a shocked gasp as the boat capsized, and the three of them landed in the water. Shaw grabbed onto the upturned boat, and waited for the others to do the same. They didn't bother trying to fix the boat; seeing as they weren't that far out of their depth and the sea was calm. Slowly, they swam back to the pier, pulling the boat between them.

They crawled out, wet and shivering, and waited for the other boat to make it back to land. Carter was glaring daggers at the two of them, and Shaw considered shoving Reese off the pier. This was all his fault for rocking the boat so hard.

The other boat reached the pier and Finch, Fusco and Root stepped out. Finch and Fusco stared in disbelief, while Root looked like she was going to start laughing. Shaw wondered how they were going to talk their way out of this one.

Reese reached into his shirt, and suddenly he was waving a fish at them.

"Looks like I caught one after all." he said, a dumb grin on his face.

This time, Shaw really did shove him off the pier.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Holy shit, thanks for all the reviews! I never thought I'd even get one tbh, so thanks! Here's more ridiculousness.**

* * *

 **Sailing**

They got back to the hotel, changed into dry clothes, and listened as Reese and Shaw received a lecture from Finch. However, he seemed determined to press on to the next activity, so they only got an hour or two of rest before they were all back on the ocean. This time, they were in proper sailboats.

Reese, Carter and Shaw all had experience sailing, so they each paired up with someone who didn't. Reese and Finch took one sailboat, Carter and Fusco took another, and Root and Shaw were left with the smallest one.

Root thought about helping, but Shaw seemed to know what she was doing, so Root settled herself into the back of the boat and watched the others struggle to sail. Finch looked completely out of his element, which made Root smile. She wished she'd brought her camera with her, as she still needed to get even with him for taking pictures of her on the horse.

Carter and Fusco were doing pretty well, steering the boat and sassing each other at the same time. Root smiled and closed her eyes, letting the wind blow sea-spray into her face. She hadn't been this relaxed in a while; not since her mother had fallen ill.

"Are you going to help me or just sit there trying to get a tan?"

Well, it was good while it lasted.

She opened one eye and smirked up at Shaw.

"What, do you need me to reach something that's too high for you?"

Shaw glared at her, and tossed a rope at her head.

"Just hold this and pull it when I tell you to. Even you can't fuck that up."

Root smiled, but grabbed the rope.

"Your faith in me is so inspiring, Sameen. We make such a good team."

Shaw snorted.

"What gave you that idea? When we first met and you tasered me? Or how about a few days ago when I tried to kill you with a golf club?"

"Definitely the golf club incident. There's no way you missed me by accident."

"Carter distracted me." Shaw muttered.

Root smiled. Both of them knew that wasn't completely true. Shaw frowned, and spun around.

"Pull the rope."

Root did, and their boat swerved to the side.

"So Sameen-"

"Pull it again."

Root frowned, but gave the rope a hard tug.

"I was thinking-"

"Dammit Root, not now. Here, try this one."

Root did not appreciate being shut down before she got her cheesy line out. This wasn't how they worked. She was supposed to say something irritating, and then Shaw would roll her eyes or make a sarcastic reply. Either way, she wasn't supposed to cut Root down before she'd even started.

"Hey Shaw-"

"Root, try pulling that rope the other way."

Root scowled at her.

"Sameen, are you going to keep interrupting me every time I try to say something?"

Shaw whirled around to glare at her.

"Fine, Root! What do you have to say that's so important?"

Root grinned.

"We're kind of friends, aren't we?"

Shaw stared at her, and for a few seconds Root thought that she had accidentally broken her.

"For fuck's sake, Root!" Shaw exploded. "The boat is caught in a wind that's blowing us out to the ocean, and you want to talk about becoming BFFs?"

"Wait, seriously?" Root looked around and, huh, they were kind of far away from the pier. "What do we do?"

"I'm trying to turn us around, but I need you to actually be helpful. So shut up and pull."

Root rolled her eyes, but grabbed onto another rope. Together, they managed to turn the boat around so that they were facing the shore, but for whatever reason the wind wasn't blowing them back. Shaw slumped down into the boat, and Root followed suit.

"So what happens now?" Root asked. "Do you know how to get us back?"

"I've been sailing before, but not on tiny kiddie boats like these." Shaw grumbled. "If we don't think of something soon, someone's going to have to come out and tow us back, and I am not letting that happen in front of Carter."

"Oh right," Root said with feigned indifference, "I forgot about your little crush on her. It must be a family thing."

"Ok firstly, I don't do crushes." Shaw said, sounding offended that Root would even think that. "I just respect her, ok? She's badass, we get on well, and I hardly have any issues with her. You on the other hand, I have a lot of problems with."

Root smiled at that. How sweet.

"Secondly, I'm not talking to you about Reese's crush on Carter, because thinking about his love life as anything other than blackmail material makes me want to barf. Thirdly, I'm not talking to you about _anything_ personal, because we are nowhere near that close."

"I'm totally your best friend." Root said, grinning cheekily.

"As if you have any friends." Shaw shot back.

"I do!"

"Oh yeah? Name one."

Root smiled triumphantly.

"Hanna."

"Name another."

Shit. Root frowned and racked her brains for another name.

"You." she said at last.

She knew by Shaw's smirk that she'd lost this round.

"Wow. One and a half friends. Incredible."

"Aren't we supposed to be trying to find a way back to the pier? Because I think we're drifting further out to sea."

Shaw frowned and stood up, tugging at the sail. Luckily for Root, she didn't seem to care about the abrupt subject change.

"Shit, you're right. We have to try and find some wind. If someone has to come and get us Finch will be pissed, and I cannot deal with another lecture on responsibility today."

"I think I have something that can help get us back quickly." Root said. "But I'll only show you if you admit we're friends."

"We're not friends."

"Then I suppose we'll just float out here forever. _I_ don't mind getting in trouble with Finch. It's not like his opinion of me can get much worse."

"Fine." Shaw growled. "We're around three-quarters friends. Happy?"

Root smiled.

"Good enough." She reached into the back of the boat and pushed something into the middle.

Shaw stared at the object, clearly surprised.

"How the hell did you manage to smuggle a speedboat engine onto this boat without anyone noticing? Forget anyone, how did _I_ not notice this?"

"I have my ways." Root said with a grin. "Can you make this work?"

It was clear that all thoughts of getting in trouble were gone from Shaw's mind. She stared at the engine with something scarily close to hunger in her eyes.

"You bet I can. We're going to be the fastest boat in this harbor."

Root smirked at the excitement on Shaw's face.

"I told you we make a good team."

* * *

 **Adventure golf**

Needless to say, Finch had not been pleased when the girls' boat had shot by and drenched him and Reese. However, they didn't crash into anyone, and whoever Root stole the engine from never came looking, so Reese counted it as a victory.

Honestly, he would have been happy enough to spend the evening watching TV in the hotel, but of course Finch wanted to tempt fate.

"Golf again? Really?" he said skeptically.

"Not golf," Finch said brightly. " _Adventure_ golf."

"What's the difference?" Shaw asked "Does it involve tripwires or guns?"

"…No."

"Then it's basically just crazy golf."

"No, it's adventure golf."

"Then what's the difference between it and crazy golf?"

"Oh look, we're here." Finch said, ushering them through the gate.

They got their clubs and balls and soon they were playing what was basically crazy golf. The good news was that Bear was allowed join them, which meant that Shaw probably wouldn't try to injure Root with her golf club again. Reese suspected that this was why Finch had chosen crazy-sorry, _adventure-_ golf as the last activity of the day.

It went well too, until another group started playing alongside them. One of them was a young man, who seemed to think he was the best player there. He kept trying to give Carter tips, and when he attempted to put his hand on her waist Reese knew it was time to step in.

"Bear! Fetch." he whispered, pointing at the man's ball.

Bear woofed and bounded over, grabbing the ball in his mouth and running away. The man stopped trying to demonstrate his swing to Carter and took off after Bear.

"Hey! Give me my ball back! Who owns this dog?"

Reese smirked and walked over to Carter, who rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly at him.

"I could have handled that myself." she said.

"I know, but this way Bear gets to have some fun as well."

She smiled and they both watched as the man chased Bear around the golf course, loudly demanding that Bear give him his ball back. Reese glanced over at Finch, who shook his head disapprovingly at him, but there was a hint of a smile playing at the edge of Finch's mouth.

They played on, until Reese and Fusco were nearing the final hole.

"I think I've played enough golf to last me my entire life." Fusco grumbled. "There's only so much fun you can get out of hitting a ball with a stick."

"As soon as we've finished, I'm getting us both a beer." Reese replied, tapping his ball into the hole.

"You better." Fusco snorted, tapping his ball and missing the hole. "I can't believe I was dumb enough to fall for your lie. Carter would never agree to a week alone with your family even if you paid her."

"They're not that bad." Reese said, but he backed down when Fusco gave him a look. "Ok, so they are that bad. But you love them."

"Yeah, yeah, guess I do. Otherwise I'd probably be back in New York actually having a good time."

"Drinking alone in a bar counts as a good time?"

"Smartass." Fusco finally hit his ball into the hole, but it bounced back out.

Reese smirked and moved on to the next hole.

* * *

 **Mini Open Farm**

Finch knew that he should be more comfortable on farms-after all, he was born in Iowa- but he had never really been fond of them. Nonetheless, he had many childhood memories of wandering around various farms, so it felt right that his children should have the same experience.

The town was so small that they didn't have a proper farm to visit, but they had a mini one. Finch didn't know what a mini farm entailed, but it sounded like it might be enjoyable, so that was where they went the next morning.

It didn't go quite as he had envisioned. Reese and Root somehow managed to antagonize every animal they came close to without even doing anything. Carter and Shaw had to trail behind them and sooth the scared creatures, while Finch and Fusco wisely stayed out of the way.

"You know, I'm almost glad you interrupted my beauty sleep and dragged us out here." Fusco told him. "Watching Wonderboy get attacked by a chicken is one of the best things I've ever seen, although all the cows stampeding away from Cocoa Puffs whenever she came near them was pretty funny too."

Root ran past them at that moment, with an angry cat chasing after her. It yowled at Root as she vaulted a fence and ran though the sheep field. The cat followed and soon all the sheep were bleating in fear. When they quieted down, Finch knew she had escaped.

He considered trying to go after her, but decided not to when Shaw ran by. She paused when she noticed them.

"Have you seen Root?" she asked. "She got too close to a litter of kittens and now the mamma cat wants blood."

"She went that way." Fusco said. Finch nodded and pointed in the direction of the sheep field.

Shaw spared a second to roll her eyes, and then she took off over the fence. Finch turned back to Fusco and attempted to smile.

"The weather is lovely today, don't you think?"

From their left, they heard the sound of frenzied squawking.

"John, calm down, it's just a bird. Put that gun away now before somebody notices! Why did you bring a gun with you at all?"

Finch and Fusco stared at each other.

"I hear they have pigs over on the other side of the farm." Finch commented.

"Let's go."

They scurried away just as Reese reached the fence they had been leaning against. There was a parrot clawing at his hair and he was desperately trying to shake it off without injuring it. Carter ran after him and attempted to shoo the bird away, but neither of them were having much success.

"Let's walk faster." Finch suggested.

From somewhere behind them, an alarm started blaring. Finch thought he heard someone scream and he glanced backwards. There was a llama running free, chasing after Root. Shaw had grabbed onto it and was attempting to steer it back to its pen. She wasn't having much success, but all the other children wandering the farm had stopped to watch her wrestle with it. Finch thought he recognized the boy from the golf course among the gawping children. The llama tried to throw Shaw off his back and ended up kicking the boy in the face.

He ducked as a pigeon flew over his head and started dive-bombing Reese. A helpless farmhand stumbled out of the birdhouse and stared in shock at the pandemonium.

"You ok, Glasses?" Fusco asked "I know this looks pretty bad."

"To be honest," Finch replied faintly, watching as Carter tried to steer children away from the llama. "I was expecting it to be a lot worse."


	5. Chapter 5

**Bowling**

Honestly, Carter had given up trying to understand Finch's thought process. Maybe he thought they all needed a relatively harmless place to unwind after that traumatic visit to the farm, but when Carter and Root were the only two who actually liked bowling, why insist on going at all?

She understood that Finch was trying to do all the normal holiday activities, but as the farm, the beach and practically every other activity had demonstrated, it wasn't working. Sure it was funny at the time, but when it ended Shaw had llama fur in her hair, Reese had bird poo on his suit (serves him right for wearing a suit to a farm, Carter thought) and Root had cat scratches on her arms. None of them were happy, and bowling certainly wasn't going to cheer them up.

Yet here they were, so Carter put on her brightest face and tried to ignore the sour attitude radiating off her companions. Root glared disdainfully at the happy children milling around, while Finch tried to smile as someone jostled his arm and almost spilled Pepsi all over him.

"Finch said we have to wear the shoes." Shaw muttered to Fusco. "Save yourself."

Fusco tried to subtly back away, but bumped straight into Reese, who gave him a terrifying smile.

"Sorry Lionel, but you can't back out now."

Fusco glared at him halfheartedly, and then he shuffled forward and grabbed a pair of bowling shoes. Carter gave him an encouraging pat on the back, but all she got in return was another glare. She shrugged and went to pick a ball. Halfway there, something caught her eye.

"Tell me if I'm wrong," she said quietly to Reese, "but don't those two guys look like the pair of Neo-Nazis you beat up last week back in New York?"

"I'm not sure." Reese replied, "I punch a lot of people, so in my mind their faces blur a little."

Carter rolled her eyes at that.

"Well I don't go around picking fights, so I recognize those two, and I've a feeling they're not here for the pizza and soda."

Reese looked up and made a small gesture, and a second later Carter heard a voice speak up from behind her.

"What've we got?"

Carter managed not to jump. She was used to Shaw's sneakiness by now

"Carter recognizes the two men. She thinks they're here for trouble."

"Do we take them out or wait for them to pick a fight?"

"We have to wait and do this right. Let them throw the first punch, otherwise we'll get kicked out, and we won't have a good explanation."

"Should we involve Root?"

"Best not." Reese said.

Carter nodded in agreement. Reese and Shaw could be tactful if it was worth the effort, but Root's strategy normally involved making a dramatic entrance, causing chaos, and leaving mysteriously just as everything went to hell. It was effective, but it wasn't really what they were aiming for here.

"So what's the plan?" she asked.

Instead of answering her, Reese walked up to the bigger man, who glared threateningly at him.

Reese smiled.

"Hi." he said.

The man snarled and swung a punch, and suddenly there was a fistfight happening in the middle of the bowling alley. Shaw went straight for the second guy, punching him in the stomach and head-butting him when he doubled over. Carter skirted around the edges, trying to reassure the frightened bowlers and occasionally swinging a bowling ball at one of the men if the fighting came too close to her. She saw security approaching and turned to warn the others.

The sound of electric buzzing cut through the room and suddenly both men were on the floor, paralyzed. Root stood over them with a taser, glaring at Reese and Shaw.

"You know; if you'd just asked me I could have sorted this out before you kids started brawling." Root shook her head. "Honestly, the lack of subtlety you two have will get you killed one day."

Reese and Shaw stared at her, trying to process the fact that Root was shaking her head in disappointment. _Root._ Lecturing _them._

Carter didn't understand it either, but that didn't stop her from laughing at their faces while Root went over to smooth things over with the security guards. Finch and Fusco walked up to them, eyeing the stunned men on the ground warily.

"What on earth is going on?" Finch demanded.

"If I knew I'd tell you." Shaw mumbled.

Reese looked too dazed to answer, and Carter found herself laughing harder.

* * *

 **Laser Tag**

They were losing. Bad.

Reese had thought the teams were evenly matched: Him, Finch and Carter against Fusco, Root and Shaw. He hadn't considered how the other team's lack of morals could affect the game.

"How come our guns only fire one beam and their guns fire ten?" Carter asked, ducking behind a wall.

"Root." Reese replied through gritted teeth. "I should have known she would cheat. She must have messed with the guns, upgraded them somehow."

"How is that possible?" Carter demanded, firing a warning shot at the noise coming closer to them.

"I'm not sure. Any ideas, Finch?"

"Not really." Finch was squashed between the two of them, examining his gun and jumping every time a shot rang out. Reese found it kind of funny, seeing as they didn't even sound like real gunshots. "Toy guns and lasers were never my specialty. I'm afraid I can't find a way to even the playing field."

"Don't worry about the gun." Reese said, an idea forming in his mind. "What about the lights? Can you find a way to switch them on when I tell you to?"

"I would have to find some sort of fuse box or circuit board but yes, I think I should be able to do that."

"Then we've got a plan. Carter, can you protect Finch and find whatever it is he needs. I'll distract the others."

"John, you can't take all three of them at once." Carter said

"Trust me." he replied "They'll be too amused at beating me to figure out that we're playing them."

"And how exactly are we playing them?"

"I lull them into a false sense of security, then I say 'Now!' and Finch switches the lights on. I shoot all three of them while they're confused and then we run."

"You know," a voice called from behind them. "That actually sounds like a half-decent plan. I'm impressed that you could come up with something like that without any help."

They turned around, and John felt his vest shake as Fusco, Shaw and Root shot them over and over again.

"Thanks Root." he muttered, once the barrage of lasers had stopped. "I don't suppose you're interested in actually beating us fairly?"

"It's called strategy, John. We used all our available skills to devise the best plan possible, regardless of moral codes. It's not my fault that Sameen and I are far more talented than you."

"Hey!" Fusco protested. "What am I, chopped liver?"

"You were a fantastic distraction, Lionel." Shaw reassured him.

"You bet I was." he grumbled. "Carter almost got me, but I never stopped firing. That takes bravery, you know?"

Reese reached out, and with the last bit of life force his gun had left; he shot Fusco in the chest.

The chaos that ensued helped ease the tension between teams, as they took part in the one activity they could all enjoy together: messing with Fusco.

Reese shot him again. "Hey!" Carter shot him. "Hey!" Shaw shot him. "Stop it! I thought we were on the same team?" Root pointed her gun at him, and his life force started rapidly decreasing. "How are you doing that? Is this even allowed?"

Finch pretended not to get involved, but Reese saw him sneak a shot at Fusco's back when he thought no one was looking.

* * *

 **Leisure Center.**

Another day, another set of activities. Finch had chosen a leisure center this time, and while he, Carter and Fusco were treated to an array of spa and beauty treatments, Root, Reese and Shaw opted out. With nothing else to do, they hung around the hotel.

Finch had given them a warning before leaving, telling them that if anything happened he really would drive them back to New York, and just because he threatened to do this countless times already did not mean that he was not completely serious this time.

The three of them had nodded and promised no trouble. Root was amused that Finch actually thought they would listen to him. They all knew that Finch wasn't going to drive them back home unless one of them actually murdered someone. Living with Reese had given the man low standards, and they had dropped even further when Shaw arrived. By the time Root showed up he had mostly given up on trying to rein them in, and simply made snarky, disappointed comments when they messed up.

Honestly, he was probably the best father figure Root had ever had, which said a lot about how low her own standards were.

The three of them lounged around the lobby for a while. Root played with her phone, and tried not to point out how sad it was that Reese was wasting the day with two kids instead of going to the spa with his friends. Then again, she couldn't really see him enjoying a massage. He was far too tense.

The internet in the lobby was so bad that only Root could get it to work. Reese and Shaw amused themselves by swapping stories, which Root pretended not to listen in on. The two of them were more open when they forgot she was there, which always led to good blackmail material. Case in point:

"I still can't believe you were almost a cheerleader in high school."

"What's wrong with cheerleading? Carter was head cheerleader in middle school." Reese seemed genuinely confused. "Anyways, I couldn't get on the squad because I kept fighting everyone who tried to hurt the team."

Root grinned, easily able to imagine Reese threatening everyone who dared harass the cheer squad.

"One jock tried to drug the head cheerleader so that he could have sex with her, so I dangled him out the window of a six story building. Another time some guy started catcalling, so I just punched him in the face. Apparently that wasn't the kind of team spirit and solidarity that the coach was looking for."

"Wait, did you say Carter was a cheerleader? Weren't Zoe and Jessica cheerleaders too?" Shaw sounded disgusted. "Oh God, Root was right. You have a type."

Root glanced up and smirked. Reese looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What? I don't- That's not- How does Root know that?"

"She's Root." Shaw replied. "Does Carter know you like her?"

"No, and it's going to stay that way."

"Really?" Shaw grinned devilishly. "What's stopping me from just telling her? I might head down to the spa right now and have a little chat."

"Do that and Finch finds out who really crashed the Ferrari."

Shaw glared at him. Root continued typing on her phone, hoping that they wouldn't notice she was listening in and taking notes on their fight.

"Do you really want to go there?" Shaw threatened, "Should I even mention Leon Tao and the incident at the hospital? You know I have more dirt on you than you do on me."

"True." Reese acknowledged. "But if you start this war you're going to get hurt in the process. Is it really worth it?"

Shaw thought it over. Then she sighed and flung her hands into the air.

"Fine!" she said loudly "You win. I won't tell Carter about your dumb crush on her."

"It's not a _crush_." Reese sounded like he was being strangled. Root wanted to laugh.

"Sorry, I meant your burning, undying love for her or whatever."

"It's not _like_ that." Root had never heard Reese sound so distressed. "It's just, she's Carter, you know?"

"Yeah," Shaw sounded much softer. "I get it. Sort of."

Suddenly, this conversation wasn't as fun as Root wanted it to be. She cleared her throat and two heads snapped around to look at her, finally remembering that they weren't alone.

"Getting back to the whole school thing, neither of you know what Harry was like in high school, do you?"

Reese shrugged, but seemed relieved at the subject change.

"He was probably the nerd that got thrown into dumpsters every day." Shaw said, grinning at the mental image. "Either that or he just skipped school and hacked his way into college."

"However bad Finch was; Fusco was definitely worse." Reese said. "The man willingly did show choir for all four years of high school."

"Fusco can sing?" Shaw asked.

"Well, he _thinks_ he can sing, and seeing as there wasn't a large supply of willing students, they kept letting him participate. The problem is that it inflated his ego a bit, and now every time he gets drunk enough Carter and I have to listen to an off-key version of 'New York, New York'."

They all grinned at that, and for a few seconds there was peaceful silence.

"I still can't believe you were almost a cheerleader." Shaw said.

"I take it cheerleading isn't your thing?"

"Please." Shaw snorted. "If I join any team when I reach high school it's going to be the football team. I might even be quarterback by the time I become a sophomore."

"I wouldn't be too sure." Reese warned her. "Most schools don't have a girl's football team."

"Like that'll stop me."

Root pictured a tiny sixteen year old Shaw bringing boys twice her size to the ground, and it made her smile. She decided that she was going to make it happen, even if she had to threaten a few members of the school board in the process.

"What about you Root?" It was clear Reese was reluctant to involve her in the conversation, but it seemed Finch had managed to teach the Neanderthal _some_ manners. "Any idea about what you'll do in high school?"

"You'll just be known as that one really gay kid who flirts with all the girls." Shaw said, before Root could reply. "You'll be popular though, even if no one can understand how."

"You think Root will be popular?" Reese sounded so disbelieving Root almost took offence.

"It depends. If she thinks being popular will benefit her evil schemes, then she'll make it happen. Otherwise she'll just let people think she's weird."

"You know me so well." Root told her, her voice both sarcastic and sweet.

Shaw smirked, but suddenly she froze.

"Shit." she hissed, nodding towards the lobby door. "We've got trouble."

Root looked over and saw the boy from the golf course walk in. He had a black eye from where the llama had kicked him, and he was limping from where Shaw had clipped him with the car. His eyes widened when he noticed Shaw.

"Crap." Shaw muttered. "Guess I best get this over with."

She stood up and started walking over to him. He met her halfway, close enough that both Reese and Root could overhear the conversation.

"Hey." Shaw said dully. "Sorry about the llama thing yesterday, but maybe next time you should move out of the way instead of standing there staring like a dumbass. Also, tell your parents that they can't prove it was me who hit you with that car, ok?"

Beside her, Reese winced. Root just grinned wider.

"Actually, I'm just here because my parents are checking out." The boy looked the same age as Shaw, but he was slightly smaller and his voice a little higher. "My Mom said I can't be mad at you for everything, because it's not your fault. She says there's something wrong with your brain, but to me your whole family seems weird. I'm not sure why you're so special."

Shaw's fists were clenched, and Reese looked ready to intervene if things got physical. The boy seemed unaware of the danger he was in, and looked at Shaw curiously.

"So what's wrong with you? Is it autism? Because a boy in my school has that, and he kind of acts like you do. Or are you like, bipolar or something? I don't really know a lot about crazy people, but I think it's kind of unfair that you get a free pass for hitting me with a golf club. Don't crazy people get locked up if they're violent?"

Root thought Shaw would deck him right there and then, but with great effort, Shaw turned around and walked away. She was visibly shaking with anger, and Root felt something ugly curl in her stomach as she glared at the ignorant boy, who just looked confused.

"Shaw-" She ignored Reese and went straight for the stairs. Root frowned as Shaw passed her by. There was an expression on her face that Root had never seen before, and it worried her.

The boy watched Shaw leave and shrugged, unaware of Root's venomous glare. Right now, she was torn between going after Shaw and making this kid suffer. Maybe his mother too, once Root discovered how she had found out about Shaw's personality disorder.

The sound of Reese's voice distracted her, and she glanced over to see him talking on the phone.

"Carter? Hey, sorry about this, but is your massage finished yet? Something really angered Shaw, and I'm worried that she's going to do something stupid. Would you mind-"

He listened to Carter's reply. Root watched as the boy turned around and walked back towards the door of the lobby, unaware of the damage he had done.

"Thank you. I think she's in her room." Reese hung up and watched silently alongside Root as the boy's parents handed him a suitcase.

"I want to go straight home!" The kid whined. "Why do we have to stop at the climbing wall?"

Root didn't bother listening to the mother's reply. Instead, she looked at Reese, and instead of her usual condescending sneer, she merely raised an eyebrow at him.

 _Truce?_

He gave a tiny shrug, and an even smaller nod.

 _Truce._

Normally Root wouldn't even think about teaming up with Reese, but he cared about Shaw too, so he deserved a chance to teach this boy a lesson. He may be a child, but this brat had hurt one of the few people Root genuinely cared for.

Together, they were going to make him pay.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is probably the longest chapter yet, but Reese and Root were just so ridiculous and fun to write that they took up pages. Also, sorry for the wait, and thanks again for the reviews!**

* * *

 **High Ropes Course**

There was silence in the car, but for once Reese didn't mind that he was alone with Root. They both had the same agenda this time.

"Before we start," Root spoke up from the passenger seat. "I need to know why you're supporting me on this. If Harold was here he'd be very judgmental, so why aren't you being a good helper monkey?"

He considered ignoring her question, but she seemed genuinely curious and seeing as he was helping an eleven-year old with a highly inadvisable revenge plot, he felt the need explain himself.

"Look," Reese sighed. "I know Shaw would kill us if she knew what we we're doing, because she hates it when people are protective of her. I respect that, and I know that she's, in her own words: 'a sociopath who can handle herself', but she's still my ten year old kid sister, and I saw her face after what that boy said. Yes, she doesn't have the same emotional range that most people do, but his comment hit her in the small patch of feelings that I know do exist. So while I get that no one else would approve of me, a twenty one year old man, conspiring with you to destroy a small child, I really don't like it when people harm the few friends that I care about."

There was a silence in the car once Reese realized just how much he'd said. Worse, he'd just ranted to _Root._ She probably recorded the entire thing.

"Wow." Root said at last. "That was probably the most words you've ever said to me in one go. Usually when I ask you a question you just kind of grunt a little."

Reese considered jumping out of the moving car. Or better yet, pushing Root out.

"I wish I could give you a long speech like that, but my reasoning is much simpler. I simply don't appreciate it when my people get hurt."

"By 'my people' you mean-"

"Harry and Shaw, of course." she shot him a withering look. "Come on John, who else have you ever seen me care about? Fusco? You?"

Normally the fact that Root was so possessive over Reese's family would unsettle him, but right now her rage was useful to him. Unlike most people, Root's anger didn't make her clumsier. Even when she was furious, Root was cold and calculating. If she wanted this boy to suffer, he was going to suffer.

"So how are we going to do this?" Root asked. "Should I get the rocket launcher out?"

"Calm down." Reese replied. "We're not trying to kill the kid, just rattle him a little. Not everything we do together has to be full of murder and destruction."

Root shot him a look, and Reese nodded his head in acknowledgment of how ridiculous that statement was. The last time Reese and Root worked together they'd broken into three major banks in New York and used the rocket launcher to severely injure a high-ranking government official. To be fair, the bastard had hit Finch with his car and then driven off without an apology. The man had left Finch in the hospital and Reese and Root out for vengeance, which was exactly what they got. Shaw had been away on a school trip that weekend, but had cracked a smile once she got back and heard the full story of their escapades.

Honestly, it was probably one of the most enjoyable weekends he'd ever had. But Finch had been horrified at the devastation they had caused so Reese didn't want to go quite so far this time. Besides; killing a kid, even one as obnoxious as this, didn't sit right with him.

"Do we even know this boy's name?" he asked, hoping to take Root's mind off murder.

"Billy." she sneered, as if the name personally offended her. "His mother's name is Mary and the father is Howard. Their car is the silver Ford with the tacky Texas licence plate."

Reese didn't bother asking how she got that information, knowing that she would only give him a cryptic reply.

"So, do you have any ideas on how to teach this boy a lesson?" Reese asked.

"We hit him with our usual mixture of mayhem and murder."

"No murder."

"We hit him with our usual mixture of mayhem and possible murder."

" _No murder."_

"You used to be fun." Root grumbled.

"I thought you were supposed to be a genius? Don't tell me you can't come up with anything other than killing him?"

Root glared at him and for a second Reese thought he was going to end up with a taser in his neck.

"I _am_ a genius, and I understand what you're trying to accomplish with your ridiculous goading tactic." She sighed. "Fine, we'll play it your way."

"Good." Reese said, turning the car into a small parking lot. "Because we're here."

The High-Ropes Adventure Course, as the big sign proclaimed, was situated next to a regular indoor climbing wall. From inside the car, it looked fairly tame to Reese. At its highest, it only went about 15 feet above the ground, and he could see children who looked just out of the toddler years swinging along zip-lines and crawling through rope nets.

He went to get out of the car, but a pitiful whine stopped him. Bear sat in the backseat, tail wagging and eyes pleading. Reese sighed and opened the back door.

"Fine boy, you can help too."

Bear barked happily and jumped out of the car.

They made their way past the front of the building where a large sign declared: 'Play at Height: High-Ropes Adventure Course.' The course didn't look very adventurous to him. All the people climbing along the wires and rope nets were securely fastened to a harness and the ropes were fairly easy to reach. Reese soon spotted the boy-Billy-struggling to wiggle into the harness. It gave him an idea.

"So obviously we're going to disconnect his harness from the safety cable." he muttered to Root.

"Clearly." she replied. "What else?"

"I'm going to steal his phone." Reese explained. "Can you make it so that the alarm on his phone goes off every day at four in the morning and he can't stop it?"

"Easy." Root smirked. "Do you want to vandalize the car or shall I?"

"Can you break into the car and pour water on everything inside his suitcase? Otherwise I'll do it."

"I can handle that. And for the cherry on top, I'll hack into one of Billy's social media accounts and tell the world what a little brat he is."

There was a small nagging voice in the back of Reese's mind that sounded suspiciously like Finch.

"Do you think we're going too far?" he asked. "All this just because a kid made a mistake?"

"We probably are." Root replied. "But right now neither of us is thinking rationally enough to realize how insane this is, so let's just go for it."

Reese nodded, and set off for the course with Bear while Root crept towards Billy's car. He skulked around the edges of the course, observing everyone who was in the area. There was one young man with acne who was wearing a t-shirt that marked him as staff, and two or three kids climbing through a rope net that was almost above Reese's head. The young man hadn't noticed him yet, so he focused on Billy. He was in the process of clipping his karabiner to the metal coil above him, while his mother was scrolling through her phone. There was no sign of Billy's father, which meant he was either inside the building or had gone for a walk. Either way, Reese decided that now was the moment to act.

"Bear." he whispered.

Bear woofed and set off towards Billy, who grinned happily when he saw the dog. While he was busy petting Bear, Reese stepped forward and loosened his karabiner. The young staff member was focused on helping a crying child, and didn't notice Reese fiddling around with the equipment. He planted a tiny black circle where the metal met rope and then he whistled for Bear.

Billy's head jerked up and his smile vanished once he realized who Bear belonged to.

"Oh, it's you." he said. "I thought the dog seemed familiar."

Reese attempted to smile.

"Sorry about that, I hope he didn't bother you. Bear is just really friendly."

"Nah, the dog's cool." Billy squinted suspiciously at him. "What are you doing here? Aren't you a little big for this place?"

At this point, Billy's mother looked up from her phone and her eyes widened when she noticed Reese. He gave Billy's mother what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Actually, I'm looking for my sister. She ran off once we got here, and we can't find her."

"Your sister is the little blonde-haired girl, right?" Billy's mother had a shrill, sharp voice that instantly grated on Reese's nerves.

"Thankfully no-but she's here too. My sister is the smaller one."

"How is that possible?" Billy asked. "You two look nothing alike. She doesn't even look American."

Reese's grin became slightly more forced, and Billy's mother seemed to notice.

"It's because she's adopted, Billy." She looked at Reese. "I'm assuming that's right?"

Reese nodded his head, wondering how he could make this conversation end.

"I definitely noticed that she looked a little Middle-Eastern." the woman continued, her voice aggressively polite. "It was very kind of your father to take her away from that region. I think it's awful that children have to grow up in that environment with all those terrorists, you know? Honestly the poor thing seems a little damaged, jumping on that llama like that."

Reese's smile was completely forced at this point, but his main objective had been accomplished, so he tried to ignore the woman's falsely-sympathetic tone.

"Actually, she's an American, born and raised." He stepped around Billy and ruffled Bear's fur. "Now if you excuse me, I really should get back to looking for her."

As he walked away, he tapped his earpiece, checking that he and Root were on a secure line. If Finch overheard what they were doing he'd try to stop them.

"The explosive has been planted and Billy's mother has about as much of a brain as he does. How are things on your end?"

"Billy's father is taking a nap." Root's voice piped up in his ear, sounding deceptively innocent as always. "No one saw me, including him. The car is soaked and I'm spray-painting it now."

"Are you writing #Root all over the car?" Reese asked.

"…Maybe. But it's not like anyone here knows my name."

Reese sighed, but let it go.

"I'll tell you when I've got his phone. Maybe try to be a bit more creative with the vandalism."

" _You're_ telling _me_ to be more creative? If you were doing this alone you would have kneecapped his parents and called it a day."

He ignored her and tried to seem casual as he walked around the edge of the outdoor area with Bear. The staff member finally noticed Reese and started walking towards him. Reese met him halfway with a friendly smile.

"Hi, I'm looking for my sister. Have you seen her? She's ten, short and angry looking, probably doing something she shouldn't."

The guy relaxed at that, giving the area a quick scan and then shrugging at John.

"I haven't seen her, and I've been here for a couple of hours. Have you tried the indoor climbing wall or the bathroom?"

"That's next on my list. Thanks." He gave the man another smile before moving towards the parking lot.

On his way, he watched as Billy got ready to climb. The boy handed his mother his jacket and his phone, before scaling the first ladder. Reese kept walking until he found Root putting the finishing touches on Billy's car. He stepped carefully over the unconscious body of Billy's father and observed her work. As well as the spray paint, the windows were smashed, the car had a good few dents in it and the inside of the car appeared to be filled with multi-colored balls. Oddly enough, there were pieces of bologna all over the car.

"You said be creative and apparently the meat destroys the paintwork." Root explained. "So did you get the phone?"

Reese shook his head, still staring at the car in wonder.

"How did you manage to do all this without anyone noticing?" he asked.

"Focus, John." she snapped her fingers at him. "Why didn't you get the phone?"

"I stood out too much. There was no way to get it without causing a scene."

It took Root a second, but then she grinned.

"So we're skipping straight to the part where we blow his rope apart-"

"-and that's the distraction I'll use to get his phone." Reese finished.

Root took off towards back towards the high ropes with the same energy as the other children who were excited to be climbing. Of course, Root was excited about something very different.

"Dibs on blowing up the safety equipment!"

"Not happening." Reese said as he followed her at a slower pace. "If I let you do it you'll cut the rope when he's coming down the zip-wire or something. I'm not killing a kid, Root."

"Don't get all morally righteous on me now, Lurch." Root groaned. "Look, can you at least make it slightly entertaining?"

"I'll do my best." Reese muttered.

They sneaked back into the outdoor area, Bear bounding along happily beside them. The course assistant was busy helping a child out of their harness, so Reese took his time assessing the area. Billy was on the course and climbing through a rope net. After the rope net there was a small platform that was easily reachable, and then there was a rope bridge that looked like it was one wrong foot away from snapping. Reese examined the equipment, the people and the distance between them as best he could without getting too near, and then he made his decision.

"Get ready to steal his phone. I'm going to blow it up."

Root grinned and slipped towards Billy's mother. Reese reached into his pocket and, before he finally gave in to the Finch-voice in his head that was listing all the reasons why this was a bad idea, he carefully pressed the detonator.

He watched as part of the rope that attached Billy's harness to the safety coil exploded. Billy was so engrossed in climbing through the rope net and the explosion itself was so small that he didn't notice what happened until he fell backwards and landed heavily in the rope net with his rope on his face.

Then all hell broke loose.

Billy started screaming and crying, which made his mother look up from her phone and notice that her child was no longer attached to anything that could prevent him from plummeting to his death. She started screaming as Billy flailed around and tried to get a secure grip on the rope net. Everyone in the area was staring and the staff member was running towards Billy, so Root used the chaos to snatch Billy's phone from his mother's pocket. Reese watched as she tapped away at the screen and inserted something into the bottom of the phone. She pulled out her own phone and typed something in, before smiling to herself and giving Reese a thumbs-up.

Reese watched as she went to ease the phone back into the hysterical woman's pocket, but she hesitated and glanced towards Billy, who was still screaming at the top of his lungs despite the fact that he was sitting in the middle of a big rope net that didn't look like it was about to break anytime soon.

Silently, Reese willed her to just put the phone back and call it a day, but of course Root started filming Billy instead. She circled below him and smirked as he stumbled around in the net. The poor staff member managed to climb up onto the small platform and was trying to coax Billy towards him, but the kid wasn't listening to him. Below them, Root filmed as Billy screamed at his mother and his mother screamed at the staff worker to help her child and the staff worker desperately tried to get Billy to calm down and listen to him.

"Root." Reese muttered, tapping his earpiece.

"He's wetting himself." Root said; her voice filled with wonder and delight. "He's actually wetting himself. You would think he's about to fall off a cliff or something, the way everyone is screaming."

"Root, what are you doing?"

"Relax, I'm almost done. Did you know Billy has a Facebook? What use can a kid his age possibly get out of Facebook? Do you think his parents let him set it up?"

"You do realize that he's almost the same age as you- you know what never mind. Just finish whatever it is you're doing and let's get out of here."

"I'm posting this video on his Facebook page with the whole story behind it. Don't worry-I've made sure it can't be traced back to us. I'm thinking about posting it on Twitter or Instagram, maybe Snapchat and Tumblr. Internet humiliation can be great for ruining lives if it gets popular enough."

"Just hurry up." Reese sighed. "I'm going back to the car and if you're not there within three minutes I'm leaving."

"Don't act like you're not enjoying this."

"Nowhere near as much as you are."

"But you _are_ enjoying this?"

"Yes. Now let's go."

Root smiled at him and stopped videoing. She skipped towards him, placing the phone in the pocket of Billy's mother's coat as she bounced by. Together, they made their way out of the compound and into their car. Reese started the engine and they quickly drove away, both of them tense.

The car was silent; both of them busy absorbing what they had just done. After a few minutes driving, Reese spoke.

"Do you think we got away with it?"

"I think we did." Root sounded as shocked as Reese felt.

"I keep expecting Finch to suddenly pop up and glare disapprovingly at us."

"Me too. But I don't think he will." Root seemed to relax a little, her smile growing wider. "I think we pulled it off. I _know_ we did. We were careful enough not to leave anything that could get traced back to us."

"Billy's family will have their suspicions."

"But suspicions are all they'll be. There's no evidence, and it's very likely that we'll never see them again. Billy's father never saw me, and even if Billy's mother noticed me recording, that's all she'll be able to accuse me of if she ever bothers to track us down. Unless they know someone with the same technological skill as me-which is very unlikely-they won't even understand why the alarm keeps going off on his phone. It's time to celebrate John, because we actually got away with it."

"Almost." Reese warned. "We haven't seen what things are like back at the hotel."

"Ready to find out?" Root asked as they pulled into the hotel parking lot.

They stepped out of the car and Reese let Bear out of the back. His eyes met Root's as they closed their doors. Reese gave her a nod, which Root returned. Both of them understood what would happen when they walked through the hotel doors.

 _Nice work, but the truce is over._

"Come on," Root said chirpily, "let's see how much of my hotel room Sameen destroyed."

Reese rolled his eyes, but followed.

Carter and Finch met them when they got inside. Finch looked angry, while Carter just looked relieved.

"Where the hell have you been?" Carter demanded. "We've spent the past forty-five minutes tiptoeing around Shaw in case she decided to shoot us! None of us could figure out why she was in a bad mood, and you two were nowhere to be found."

"She's alright now." Finch added, noticing the worried looks on their faces. "We ordered all the room service she wanted and Miss Carter sat with her and talked guns for a while until she was noticeably happier. When we left she was busy making fun of Mr. Fusco, and her insults no longer carried threats of violence."

Reese relaxed a little once he heard that. However, both Finch and Carter were staring at him expectantly, and he knew he needed to give them a convincing excuse. He considered letting Root handle it, but decided that it would sound more honest coming from him.

"Some ignorant kid was rude to Shaw and it upset all of us." he explained. "Root wanted revenge so I drove her around and we talked it out until we both calmed down."

Finch looked skeptical at that. He stared suspiciously at Root, who met his gaze with deceptively calm eyes.

"It's alright Harry." she said. "I promise I won't go looking for this kid. If we never see him again it'll be too soon."

"I see." was Finch's response. Reese could tell he was thinking about further questioning, but in the end Finch decided that it wasn't worth it.

"Well you missed lunch, but there should be some leftovers if you hurry."

"We left Shaw and Fusco alone with the food." Carter added. "So he's not kidding around when he says hurry."

Root took off towards the elevator, and Finch followed at a slower pace. Reese, Bear and Carter lingered a while in the lobby. It was clear to him that while Finch didn't care to know the truth, Carter wasn't fully satisfied.

"So," she began, "you 'talked it out', huh?"

"Talking definitely helped calm Root down." Reese replied.

"And was that all you two did? Because you've got some paint on your sleeve that wasn't there earlier."

Reese grinned at Carter. She tried to glare back, but there was a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.

"You know, I'm suddenly really hungry." Reese said. "How about Bear and I take the stairs and race you back to the rooms?"

As he took off, he could practically hear Carter roll her eyes behind him.

"At least tell me you stopped her from actually murdering him." she called out as he reached the stairs.

"It's possible that he's alive." he responded, knowing that it would wind her up.

"Remind me why I'm friends with you again?"

Reese smiled, but didn't reply, choosing to follow Bear up the stairs.

"Don't listen to her Bear." he said. "She loves us really."

Bear barked and ran ahead, leaving Reese alone for a moment of peace. No doubt things would get chaotic once he reached the hotel rooms. Root was probably already there irritating the others. There was probably a lot of shouting going on, maybe some food getting thrown. Finch was definitely trying to keep things calm,but there was chance someone would throw something at him, which would instigate an all out food fight. Fusco was certainly getting pelted with food right about now. Shaw was probably the one throwing it and eating it at the same time. He assumed Carter was still in the elevator. He imagined she would be tempted not to get out once she saw what was happening, but in the end she would sigh and join in.

God, they were a mess. But they were his family, and honestly Reese was just as messy as they were. So when he reached the hotel rooms and saw that, sure enough, there was a food fight in progress, he didn't hesitate before grabbing a piece of chicken and flinging it at Lionel. He was sure that their neighbors would soon file complaints, but Shaw laughed when he hit Root smack in the face with a slice of pie, so he considered it worth it.

It wasn't quite worth it when Root's revenge consisted of a bucket of ice water over his head, but it did mean he wasn't covered in food like the others when the hotel staff finally kicked them out.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Exams and all that.**

 **Café**

Fusco wasn't really too worried when they got kicked out of the hotel, because Finch was rich and could easily find them a new place to stay. The thing that bothered him was making the journey to the new hotel with cream and hot sauce dripping down the side of his face. But once they reached their new lodgings Fusco was content. Sure this new place had four stars instead of five, and it didn't have a whirlpool bath like the first one, but the bed was comfy and Fusco still had his own room so it was all good.

He lay on the bed and let himself relax. Finch had no more activities scheduled for today. He had finally cracked and declared with great relief that they would be leaving tomorrow. Soon Fusco would be back in his own dingy apartment far away from Reese and the lunatics he called family. Not that he didn't enjoy the free vacation, but he was glad the week was almost over. There was only so much of Wonder-boy he could tolerate, never mind the rest of the banana bunch.

The door to his room slammed open and Root stormed in. Fusco rolled off the bed and stumbled upright. He could have sworn that the door was locked.

"What the hell?" he snapped.

"Lionel, I need your help." Root announced, flopping down on the bed.

It took Fusco a few seconds to process that, and before he could tell her to get out she was talking again.

"It's Sameen. I can't stand to be in our room anymore. She keeps talking about Carter! At first it was funny, because I've never seen Shaw respect someone like that, but now it's irritating. When I try to annoy her she doesn't even bother rolling her eyes at me anymore!"

Fusco was still at loss for words. He eyed the distance between himself and the door, wondering if he could make a break for it.

"I asked her if she wanted to help me hack Harry's phone when we get back to New York and she told me that she had plans to hang out with Carter that day. I mean, why is she so excited about that? Carter's basically going to be babysitting her and she doesn't even care."

"So let me get this straight." Fusco said slowly. "The brat's got some sort of crush on Carter and you're jealous because she's not giving you enough attention. Simple enough. What I don't get is why you came to _me_ about this?"

"I'm not _jealous._ " Root sounded disgusted at the thought of having such a human emotion. "I just don't like that whenever Carter's around, Shaw acts like I'm invisible. It's annoying, and it can't go on like this, because the more time I spend with the rest of you the more I realize that Shaw, Harry and the dog are the only ones I can tolerate for long periods of time."

"Gee thanks." Fusco muttered. "The feeling's mutual."

"Which is why I need you, Lionel. I need Carter to start dating someone so that hopefully Shaw will wake up and get over her crush."

Fusco blinked, trying to process that.

"Look, Nutella, I'm still not sure why you came to me in the first place, but I really can't help you. I'm not interested in Carter like that."

Root raised an eyebrow at him, somehow managing to make Fusco feel inferior despite being a good bit shorter than him.

"You think I want to set _you_ up with Carter? Please, like she'll ever lower her standards that far. No, I need you to help me set her up with John."

Fusco laughed then, because this was all getting a little too ridiculous.

"You want me to set her up with Captain America? Yeah sure, that's a great plan. I hate to break it to you kid, but they're just friends."

"Yes, but unlike you, John has some potential. Obviously Carter could do far better, but there aren't enough options around here and I'm not waiting until we're back in New York. John will have to do."

"You're not getting it." Fusco said, wondering absently when his life had turned into this mess. "They're just friends. They don't like each other that way."

Root stared at him like he was a naive child.

"You have the IQ of 112, correct? Impressive enough, considering you usually come across as barely competent. I'm sure you're girlfriend Rhonda would be quite impressed with that score, but then again she doesn't seem to have very high standards since she's dating you in the first place. I mean, your first date was a mess, and the fact that you had to leave halfway into it wasn't even the worst part. Tell me, did you ever take her back to that restaurant, or did you just try and pretend it never happened? "

Fusco tried not to show how unsettled he was by her knowledge. These kids could smell weakness, and if he cracked Root would know. She stared at him with her usual condescending smirk.

"Now, I don't really like to brag, but I can guarantee that my IQ is at least 30 points higher than yours, and Lionel, this is me trying to spare your feelings. So when I say that John and Carter have potential, I wasn't asking for your opinion. All I want you to do is help me set them up."

Fusco remembered why he hated all of Finch's kids so much. They only needed ten seconds to tear his ego to shreds in the most irritating way. If he hadn't built up a resistance to all their mocking comments he might actually feel hurt. As it was he was just annoyed.

"Yeah ok, it's time for you to leave. Go find someone else to mess with."

He tried to shoo Root out of the room, but she merely doubled her unsettling staring. The smirk was gone, but she still had the look in her eyes that meant nothing good.

"You know, you really should talk to Rhonda about your IQ. After all, what other conversation topics do you have? It's not like you can tell her about all those videos of that supermodel you have on your laptop. What's her name again? Karolina?" When she noticed Fusco's eyes widen, Root smiled in satisfaction. "Do you think you could pass it off as a harmless crush, or is there some really dirty stuff on there? I haven't watched them myself, too young and all that, but don't you think it would be fun to see Rhonda's reaction?"

"Alright." Fusco said tiredly. "You win. Stay out of my love life and I'll help you interfere with Carter's."

Root beamed at him.

"I knew you'd see things my way."

* * *

Fusco did not want to do this. He had a feeling the whole thing would backfire spectacularly, but his relationship was on the line, so he ignored his conscience and knocked on Carter's door. She opened it, looking far more awake than he felt.

"Fusco?"

"Hey. You busy?"

She shook her head, looking puzzled. They all expected Fusco to be in bed right now, Fusco included. Damn Root with her damn schemes.

"Listen, I heard about this really nice coffee shop just down the road. I was thinking you me and Mr Fancy Suit could leave the kids with Finch and actually have a relaxing time for once." He thought he sounded normal enough. Carter didn't seem to suspect anything.

"That sounds good, but uh, why can't we just relax in our own rooms? I would have thought you'd be fast asleep by now."

"Yeah, funny story, I heard the little nutball plotting some nonsense and I really don't want to be around when it all goes to shit. I'm thinking, if we can't relax and sleep we might as well relax and eat."

"What kind of nonsense?" Carter looked alarmed, and Fusco forced himself to stay calm. He deserved an Oscar for this.

"Nothing serious, I promise. No fire or death. But it'll probably get loud, so I thought we could get out of here before it starts."

For the longest five seconds of Fusco's life, Carter mulled it over. He could practically see the gears turning in her head.

"Yeah." Carter said slowly. "Yeah, ok. That sounds good. Let me go grab my coat and then I'll get John. Meet you in the lobby?"

"Great." Fusco grinned, trying not to look too relieved. "Let's leave the brats to Finch and go get some cake."

He left quickly then, before she noticed something was up. Root was waiting for him at the end of the hall.

"Well done Lionel. I honestly wasn't sure if you could pull it off."

He just glared at her and shook his head, moving past her to the elevator. She pouted as they got in.

"There's no need to be so grumpy. Don't you want to do something nice for your friends?"

"Spare me." he grumbled. "Everyone and their mother knows you and Jason Bourne don't get along."

"Who?"

"What, you've never seen the Bourne movies?" When she shook her head he sighed. "No wonder you're so messed up. You and Glasses probably watch way too much sci-fi crap."

"Shaw told me that Harry used to force her and Reese to watch all these robot movies. Apparently the fact that he stopped movie night once I came along is one of the only good things to come out of me moving in."

"Damn, they all really hate you, don't they?" he chuckled. "I'd almost feel bad for you, but you are blackmailing me right now."

"Hate is a strong word." Root said mildly. "I'd say they tolerated me, and because I refused to leave they now accept me. Sure they may have been reluctant at first, Harry may still try to contact child services when he thinks I won't find out and maybe John still won't let me near Bear, but I feel like I'm really starting to fit in, you know?"

Thankfully the elevator opened, saving Fusco from having to respond. He had to keep reminding himself that Root loved playing mind-games, and that everything she said was probably an attempt to manipulate him. The other part of his brain kept reminding him that she was eleven and that if he was ever going to be a police detective he needed to be able to handle one weird child.

Root scanned the mostly deserted lobby, and then she whirled around to face Fusco.

"Ok, so you remember the plan, don't you? I'll be following from a distance, so don't mess up. Get to the café, wait for the call and then bail. It's simple enough, I'm pretty sure you can't screw it up."

"Fine," Fusco growled "but when this is done, you leave me the hell alone. I don't want you in my life at all, you understand?"

"I get that a lot." Root chirped, fake-sympathy dripping from her voice. "Cheer up Lionel, you sound like I've asked you to commit murder. We're just playing around with a few relationships. It's not that serious."

She left then, before he could come up with a fittingly grumpy and sarcastic response. He sighed and sat down, looking around to try and figure out where she'd run off to. He couldn't see her anywhere, but he knew she was watching. It was creepy.

The elevator opened again and Carter and Reese walked out. They smiled at Fusco, and he found himself grinning back. Maybe if he could forget about the evil imp watching his every move, he might actually be able to enjoy himself.

"You guys ready? I saw that this place had cheesecake, so let's go before it's all eaten."

The journey there was fine. They laughed and joked and made fun of Reese for wearing a suit even though the weather was hot enough for shorts and t-shirts. He complained that all his other clothes were dirty, and Carter shot back that he hardly had any other clothes. Neither of them asked further about what Root had been planning, and Fusco suspected they were just too tired to get involved. If only they knew that they were already very much caught up in her scheme.

There was no sign of Root, which helped Fusco relax. He had no doubt that she was following them, but she was sneaky enough not to be noticed, even by Reese.

They went in, ordered, and sat down. Everything felt normal, but Fusco couldn't quite relax. He still managed not to jump when his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered, knowing full well who was on the other end.

"It's time." Root ordered. "Make an excuse and get out of there."

"Fantastic. Hang on a second." he turned to look at Reese and Carter, who seemed mildly curious about his phone call. "Listen, something's come up and I've got to take this call. If I'm not back by the time you've finished eating, just head back to the hotel without me."

"Everything ok?" Carter looked genuinely concerned, which made Fusco feel even shittier.

"Yeah it's nothing serious. Just work being a pain in my ass."

They nodded understandingly, and Fusco got up and left. As he left the waitress walked over with their food and drinks, and Fusco stared regretfully at his cheesecake as it passed him by. He barely made it out the front door when a small hand grabbed him and yanked him to the side.

"Nice work Lionel." Root said with a grin. "You can go now if you want."

"Are you kidding me? I don't trust you not to just poison both of them. I'm staying, might as well watch you screw everything up."

"Suit yourself." Root shrugged, pulling out her phone. "I've got the place bugged if you want to listen in on their conversation with me."

"Of course you do." Fusco grumbled.

His curiosity got the better of him, and he crouched down to listen in beside her.

"I hope Fusco's not in any trouble." That was Carter's voice.

"I'm sure he's fine." Reese said dismissively.

"I don't know John, he seemed kind of tense. Tenser than usual, I mean. Do you think we should do something?"

"Right now? Let's not. I'm busy trying to enjoy this cake."

Fusco was slightly annoyed at Reese's lack of concern, but Reese was a jackass so it didn't surprise him. There was silence for a few minutes, other than the sound of chewing and gulping, until Carter spoke up.

"You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you." She swallowed another bite of cake. "Back in New York, whenever there's violence nearby; you always seem to show up in the nick of time. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you do, but are you ever going to tell me where you get your information from?"

"I told you Joss, I hear things." Fusco could hear the smile in Reese's voice. "People gossip all the time, you just have to listen."

"So you're not going to tell me." Carter sighed. "Fine, I just hope you're not in over your head."

"Well I appreciate the concern, but I've managed this far."

"Yeah, like the time that huge Neo-Nazi pinned you against a car and you couldn't even land a punch?" Carter snorted. "You're lucky Fusco and I got Finch's message. You're too reckless sometimes."

Reese took a few sips of his coffee before answering.

"I'm grateful for your help, but I prefer not to involve you or Fusco. Neither of you have the experience. If anything happened to you, it would be on me."

"You're saying that if someone attacked you, you would rather have a ten-year old help fight them instead of involving me and Fusco?"

"Yes, because Shaw knows what she's doing." Fusco could almost hear Carter's disbelieving glare. "Look, you know I admire you a lot, and I know you can handle yourself in most situations, but I don't want you or Fusco getting more involved in this than you have to be. Putting you at risk like that isn't right."

"I just… I worry about you John." Carter's voice was soft, and lacked her usual bite.

Root nudged Fusco's shoulder excitedly.

"It's getting good now!" she whispered.

"I know you do, and I worry about you too. The difference is that Finch chose me for this because he knew I could handle it."

Carter sighed again.

"Fine," she said "but I still don't agree with getting kids involved."

"Neither do I, but Root and Shaw are special cases."

"Yeah, Root's special alright." Carter grumbled. "I can't wait to see what she cooked up when we get back to the hotel."

"I say we barricade ourselves in one of the bedrooms and watch bad TV shows until Finch finally decides it's time to leave."

Carter hummed in agreement as she drank the last of her coffee.

"Only problem is that you and I have very different ideas of what makes a TV show bad."

"Is this because I don't like Empire? You know I hate ninety per cent shows where they sing."

"You hardly even gave it a chance! I suffered through all those Agatha Christie shows for you even though they put me to sleep."

"Fine. We get back to the hotel and we can find something to watch that we both agree on. I don't think Fusco's coming back, so we might as well go."

"It's a shame. The cheesecake was actually good."

Fusco watched as the unsuspecting pair made their way to the door. He and Root hid in an alley nearby.

"Thank you for stopping by!" The cheery waitress called out as they left. "I hope you had a nice date."

Fusco poked his head around the corner to see their reaction. Carter seemed slightly baffled, but when she looked at Reese he just smiled and shrugged.

"Think we should make a pit-stop and grab some popcorn?"

"Alright, but only if you stop making this sound like a movie date."

Carter didn't seem angry, if anything she looked amused. They both laughed as they moved out of Fusco's hearing range. He was left contemplating what he'd witnessed as they walked away.

"Huh."

Maybe Root had been on to something after all.

The brat herself didn't seem happy. In fact, she looked disappointed.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked.

"I was expecting more." she explained. "They clearly have feelings for each other, but they got distracted talking about Sameen and I. Maybe I could lock them in the hotel room…"

"Listen kid," Fusco said. "You're smart, and you were right. There is something there, I can see that now. But whether they do anything about it, it's not something you can force to happen. As smart as you are, you've never been in a relationship. These things take time, especially when they're serious."

"Of course I haven't been in a relationship Lionel, I'm eleven. It doesn't mean that I don't know how to manipulate people."

"Just…" Fusco sighed. "Look, Reese and Carter will be watching movies all night, which means you'll have Mr Peabody and the other brat all to yourself. Leave Reese and Carter alone for tonight and tomorrow we'll all be home and I'll never have to see you for the rest of my life."

Root hummed to herself as she stepped out of the alleyway.

"You were a big help today, so just for you, I'll leave them be. You're free to go as well, and Rhonda never has to know about those videos."

"Fantastic." he muttered "Now go plot world domination, or whatever it is you do in your spare time."

"Aw, but what'll you do now that your friends have ditched you?"

"After everything you've put me through?" he muttered as he walked away from her. "I'm going to go eat some damn cheesecake."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Last chapter guys! Thanks to everyone who followed, faved, etc. Thank you especially to those that reviewed, I always love feedback and I'm glad people actually enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

* * *

 **Movie Night**

The popcorn was almost finished, the credits were rolling on the small hotel TV, and both Reese and Carter felt too tired and stiff to move from the comfy bed they were slouched on.

"I still can't believe that that was your first time watching Get Carter." Reese said. "Didn't anyone ever force you to watch it because of your name?"

"Nope." Carter replied. "And I can see why. That's a hundred minutes of my life I'll never get back."

"Really? You don't like Sylvester Stallone?"

"He was alright in _Rocky,_ I guess. But his whole genre isn't my type of movie."

"Wow, you're just like Finch." Reese shook his head. "Whenever we used to watch movies together, Shaw and I always picked something like Die Hard or Fast and Furious, and he'd always complain all through the movie. Eventually we gave in and started watching his boring 'intellectual' films. The only one we all liked was Shawshank."

"Yeah, I can't imagine Finch enjoying car chases and explosions." she laughed. "It's funny, I don't remember watching movies with my dad. I mean, I'm sure we did, but I guess it wasn't really memorable or routine enough to stick in my mind."

"Mm." Reese hesitated, wondering how best to explain this. "Finch isn't really my dad though. I mean, he's definitely the boss of our family and he's a father figure to Shaw, and Root too I guess, but I was already a teenager when he found me so…I've just never seen him that way. He took me in as his ward and changed my life for the better, and I owe him a lot, but I've only ever had one dad and he died when I was twelve years old."

Carter was staring so gently at him, and Reese felt an uncomfortable sort of pressure. He never talked about his old life to anyone outside of Finch and Shaw, and even they just knew the bare minimum. This was a first for him, but Carter was safe. He could trust her. More importantly, he knew she cared.

"I've never heard you talk about your birth family." she said softly.

He gave a small shrug, trying to find a place to start.

"That's because I never knew them. They died when I was a baby, and I was adopted. My dad was in the military so we moved around a lot."

Carter was still looking at him, and for the first time ever Reese wanted to say more. He wanted to talk about himself to someone. He was just struggling to figure out how much he should say.

"Before they adopted me, my parents had a girl called Sophie. She died before I was adopted, so in a way I had a sister, but I never really knew her. I never felt like I was a replacement though, my mom loved me so much and dad… he tried his best. They're the only parents I've ever known, and the only ones I've needed."

Carter didn't push. She listened quietly as he awkwardly and hesitantly told her his story.

"When I was twelve my dad came back from his fourth combat tour. I was so excited to spend more time with him, but he died three weeks after he came home. I never got all the details, but I know he saved four people from a bad situation and died a hero. I still had my mom until six months later we got in a car crash, and I was the only one who made it out alive. After that, I was put in the system for two and a half years before Finch found me."

He stopped there. There was more he could tell her, but he wasn't comfortable enough to continue and he knew that Carter wouldn't push. She reached out and clasped his hand gently.

"I'm sure that they'd be proud of the man you've become. I don't know how you do it, but I know about the good you do, the people you help. Finch may have taken you out of the system but you're the one that risks his life saving strangers. You don't owe him as much as you think."

Reese was never good with showing emotion, but when he smiled and squeezed Carter's hand, he knew that she understood.

* * *

 **Swimming Pool**

Carter couldn't believe it. They were _so close_ to getting out of this town and back home to New York. The luggage was in the car, Bear was settled in the back with a chew toy, everyone was ready to leave, and Finch decided that first they needed to make a stop at the swimming pool.

Why people called him a genius when he made decisions like that, Carter would never know.

"I'll wait in the lounging area with Bear." he explained as they rooted around for their swimsuits. "The rest of you can go in and splash around. If you tire yourselves out, hopefully the ride back home will be slightly less chaotic than our journey here."

Carter had to admit he may have had a point. Root and Shaw looked full of energy, and a long car journey would certainly bore them. Carter knew from experience that boring them was never the smart thing to do. The Manhattan chicken incident was still fresh in her memory.

However, the thought of being stuck in a swimming pool with them was not exactly appealing either. Carter suspected that Finch only suggested this because he wasn't actually getting in the pool. Throwing her under the bus by abandoning her with all these walking human disasters was exactly the kind of scheme Finch was capable of. She almost hoped that they ended up causing property damage, just so Finch would actually have to deal with his kids.

Still, the swimming pool itself wasn't too bad. Fusco looked grumpy, but that was probably because they'd been up early packing and cleaning. Reese and Shaw looked expressionless, big surprise there. Root looked devious, and Carter was slightly worried about that. Ever since she saw Carter emerging from Reese's room early that morning, she had been wiggling her eyebrows and making suggestive comments at them, which for some reason caused Reese to go red in the face. Carter didn't get it, seeing as she and Reese had just fallen asleep together watching a movie, but whatever, she didn't pretend to understand the weirdness that was Reese's family.

Thankfully the changing rooms were decent, and soon they were all in their swimsuits. Personally Carter thought that Shaw looked adorable in her tank-top and swim shorts but she had enough self-preservation instincts not to say it to her face. Root seemed tempted to say something, but the glare Shaw sent her way seemed to convince her to hold her tongue. As for Reese… Carter hadn't really known he was built so well underneath all those suits, but now that he was only wearing swimming shorts his muscles were a lot harder to ignore. She noticed Root smirking at her and quickly slipped into the water.

For a while Carter tried keeping an eye on all of them, but Shaw kept staying underwater too long for Carter to track her and Reese seemed to do nothing but jump off the diving boards again and again. So she let herself relax a little and joined Fusco and Root as they floated contentedly on the lazy river. There weren't many people using the swimming pool and she was able to lie on the water without bumping into anyone. Closing her eyes and floating peacefully, it was easy to forget her worries and lose track of time.

In hindsight, she really should have known the universe wouldn't let her off that easily.

She had just finished going around the lazy river for a second time when someone tapped her forehead. She opened her eyes to find Root smiling down at her.

"I think you should see this."

As soon as Carter's feet touched the bottom of the pool, Root grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the lazy river. They waded through the shallow water into the main pool and towards the diving pool. There weren't many people around, and Carter couldn't see the lifeguard anywhere. Reese and Shaw were also suspiciously absent.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Root pointed upwards, towards the highest diving board. When she saw who was at the top, she nearly slipped backwards into the water.

"What the hell are they doing?" she cried.

Ten meters above them, Reese stood at the edge of the board, facing inwards. Carter had seen him dive from it many times today, and she had no doubt that he could back-flip from it without injuring himself. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that Shaw was carefully balancing on top of him. She stood with her feet on his shoulders, staring down at the diving pool with a smirk. It looked like Reese had a firm grip on her ankles, but from their location Carter couldn't really see.

"How has the lifeguard not noticed this?" she snapped. "They are definitely breaking at least three rules right now."

"They asked me to create a distraction." Root replied. "The lifeguard is currently over at the kiddie pool helping a child who hit their head off the slide. Those parents really should keep a closer eye on their kids."

"You know what? I'm not even going to talk about you hurting innocent children, because I'm still trying to understand why those two idiots up there ever thought this was a good idea?"

"Relax." Root said, clearly amused by Carter's stress. "They have experience with stunts like this."

"Shaw is _ten years old._ " Carter hissed. "And last I checked, neither of them were professional divers. Why the hell would you let them do this?"

Root shrugged, an infuriating smirk on her face. It made Carter want to dunk her in the water.

"I'm curious to see if they'll manage it, or if they'll both die horribly. I hope for your sake it's the first one, because if this goes wrong I'm not going to be the one explaining things to Finch."

"We have to stop them." Carter tried to climb out of the pool, but Root pulled her back down.

"It's too late now. We might as well enjoy the show."

They watched, Carter horrified and Root amused, as Reese leaped off the board. Carter flinched as he twisted into a back-flip and Shaw's head barely missed the diving board. As they fell Shaw pushed off him and somersaulted away. They fell in a series of tumbles, eventually landing around a meter apart from each other in the water. Carter waited for them to surface, her heart pounding loudly in her chest.

After fifteen nerve-wracking seconds, Reese's emerged from the water, a grin on his face. Carter frantically scanned the diving pool for Shaw, but there was no sign.

"Give her a minute." Root said calmly. "She likes being underwater."

Thirty seconds after they hit the water, Shaw finally popped up. She and Reese had identical grins on their faces, and if Carter wasn't so relieved that they were both alright she would yell at them for being so _stupid._ She made her way towards the diving pool, determined to give them a piece of her mind.

Shaw noticed Carter coming towards them, and scowled at Root, who was trailing behind her. Carter saw her mouth the word "snitch" at Root before she dived below the surface again. Reese had also noticed Carter, and she was happy to see that his dumb, satisfied smile had been replaced with a look of guilt. He looked a little bit scared, which pleased Carter, because at least he knew that he was in big trouble with her.

"Tell me if Shaw gets out of the diving pool." she said to Root. "Neither of them are going anywhere until I get the chance to tell them exactly how ridiculously dangerous that was, and why they should never do that again unless they want to give me a heart attack."

Root didn't seem particularly inclined to help Reese and Shaw out. Carter heard her laughing behind her as she made her way over to Reese, who looked about two seconds away from diving back underwater to avoid her.

As if he could get away from her that easily.

Just as she reached him, she heard a loud splash from behind her. Turning around, she saw that Shaw had dragged Root into the pool. The two of them seemed to be wrestling and possibly trying to drown each other. She hesitated, wondering if she should try and interfere, and Reese used the distraction to make a break for the edge of the pool.

"Not so fast!" she yelled, chasing after him.

Reese was already climbing out of the pool and heading towards the exit, so she decided to leave Root and Shaw to their wrestling match, knowing that the kids wouldn't really kill each other.

Probably.

* * *

 **The Journey Home**

"Look on the bright side Harry; the lifeguard didn't have to kick us out."

Finch didn't even bother taking his eyes off the road; he merely twisted his mouth dismissively.

"No, Miss Carter just had to give you CPR because Sameen knocked you unconscious while you were both in the diving pool."

"It was amazing." Root said cheerily. "The way she flipped off that diving board and the strength of that Axe Kick…"

"It was pretty fun." Shaw piped up from the backseat. "Reese couldn't have done it half as smoothly."

"Yes well, I expected you to show no remorse for your actions, but Miss Groves is taking this rather well considering you gave her a black eye."

Reese lay back in his seat and tried to tune out the sounds of his family. Beside him, Fusco was snoring loudly and on the other side, Root was doing her best to distract Finch from the road. Shaw had once again been relegated to the backseat, and now that Bear had fallen asleep beside her she was helping Root rile Finch up. Carter was in the front with Finch so Reese couldn't see her, but he had a feeling she was asleep too. His friends were smart like that.

Honestly, as much as they complained, Reese knew that they were glad they came. Obviously they were all impatient to get back home, but all things considered the week had gone fairly well. Not once had they needed to call an ambulance, and none of them ended up on television even though Reese was sure Shaw's cliff diving incident would cause some outrage. All in all, it had been a fairly peaceful holiday by Reese's standards.

As Finch's voice got more bitingly sarcastic and Root's became more falsely innocent, Reese leaned over so that Fusco's snoring drowned the voices out. They had been driving for around two hours, which meant that within forty-five minutes they would be back in New York.

"Uh Harry, I think you should pull over. I swallowed too much water earlier and now I feel queasy."

"That was two hours ago Miss Groves. I highly doubt that you're only feeling the effects now."

Reese glanced over at Root. She did look a little green, but the girl was a talented actress so she could just be messing with them.

"Roll down the window." he said quietly. "Fresh air will help."

She did what he said, and for a few minutes there was peace in the car.

"Harry, I'm really going to throw up. Stop the car."

Finch kept driving, determined to ignore Root. However, Reese could see the panic in his eyes. They had played poker with Root before; calling her bluff usually didn't end well.

As they drove, Reese noticed that Root was getting steadily paler. Just as he was going to reach for a bag, she turned and threw up all over him.

"The window was right there." he muttered.

Even though she looked ready to get sick again, Root still managed to smirk at him as if she had planned this from the beginning. Reese honestly wouldn't put it past her.

Finch pulled in at a rest stop, glaring disapprovingly at Root while Reese went to get changed. It wasn't like he could give out to her for getting sick, but they were all slightly suspicious that she was messing with them.

"Do you think she did that on purpose?" Fusco asked him as he emerged from the toilet in a clean suit. "I mean, I'm pretty sure we're the two people in that car she likes the least and she just happens to throw up on us?"

Reese wanted to point out that it had barely hit Fusco, just splashed his sleeve a little, but he didn't feel like arguing about it.

"Honestly, I don't care." Reese admitted. "We're almost home and besides, it's kind of symbolic. Bear threw up on the way here and Root threw up on the way back."

"That's a weird tradition you've got there." Fusco muttered. "I don't know how you're so calm about this. If my little brother threw up on me I'd be pissed."

As they settled back in the car, Reese could admit that Fusco had a point. If this had happened at the start of the week he would probably have hitchhiked home, but after being forced to do so many bonding activities Reese could honestly say that even Root had grown on him a little. There was something about teaming up to get revenge on an ignorant kid that really brought people together.

Overall, Reese was at peace. He and Carter had gotten closer this holiday and were possibly-maybe-kind-of-into each other. He had bonded with Finch and Fusco and he had actually enjoyed most of his time with Shaw and Root. Plus, after surviving a car chase, fishing and rabid farm animals, Reese doubted that there was much left that could faze him.

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. If he could fall asleep now, that would be perfect. All he had to do was deal with his family for half an hour longer and then he'd be free. His whole body was sick and tired, but there was nothing that could make him snap this close to the finish line.

And then he felt Shaw kick his seat.


End file.
